what-attracts-to-male-male-relationships Fujoshi Culture

Fujoshi Culture

What Draws Us to Male-Male Relationships?

About this topic

The question 'What draws us to male-male relationships?' lies at the heart of fujoshi culture. When our hearts are moved by bonds or romance between men in fiction, what exactly are we attracted to? It could be the love born from pure friendship, equal relationships freed from gender roles, the beauty and emotional depth of men, or a safe space to project our own emotions. This question goes beyond 'why do we like BL' and serves as an entry point to understanding the structure of our desires and emotions.

Conceptual positions
01 Psychological View

The view that attraction to male-male relationships stems from seeking pure emotional exchange freed from gender role constraints. It compensates in fiction for the 'equal heart-to-heart connection' that is hard to obtain in real heterosexual relationships.

02 Cultural/Feminist View

The view that it is a form of resistance to male-centered narratives and heterosexual norms, where women create a space to express their own desires. Depicting male-male relationships restores female agency and imagines alternative forms of love.

03 Aesthetic/Emotional View

The view that it is simply a response to the visual and emotional joy brought by male beauty and intimate relationships. By savoring the 'preciousness' or 'pain' of relationships, one obtains strong emotional experiences unavailable in daily life.

Talk entry points

  1. In your favorite male-male relationship, which specific moment grabs your heart the most?

  2. Does the reason you are drawn to that relationship overlap with your real-life friendships or romances?

  3. When you feel a male-male romance is 'precious,' what makes it precious?

  4. If real-life men had the same kind of relationship, how do you think you would feel?

  5. By loving that relationship, what emotions inside you do you feel are being fulfilled?

  6. When others love the same relationship from a different angle, do you feel surprise or empathy?

Conceptual tensions
Escapism vsEmotional Expansion
Is immersion in fictional relationships escapism from reality, or a rich experience that expands the range of one's emotions? Both aspects may exist simultaneously.
Consumption of Male Beauty vsGender Liberation
Is loving male-male relationships 'consuming' male bodies and emotions, or an act of imagining liberation from gender norms? Evaluation changes depending on the perspective.
Purity vsDesire
How to reconcile the affection depicted as a 'precious' relationship with one's own desires and sexual imagination when they intersect. The multilayered nature of emotions is questioned.
Talk note

This theme is a space to affirm each other's preferences. Without denying someone's 'likes,' let's share the richness of sensibility by exploring together 'why it moves the heart.'

Glossary
Fujoshi
A term for (mostly female) fans who enjoy male-male romance (BL). Derived from 'to rot,' it refers to a culture of deriving pleasure through alternative interpretations of works.
Boys' Love
A fiction genre depicting romance between men, often created for female audiences, emphasizing purity of emotion and depth of relationship.
Moe
A strong feeling of affection or excitement toward a character or relationship. A sense of responding to specific gestures, expressions, or relationship patterns.
Toutoi (Precious)
The heart-trembling feeling when witnessing pure and beautiful relationships or emotions. A word frequently used in fujoshi culture to describe the ideal form of love.
Projection
Overlaying one's own emotions and experiences onto fictional characters or relationships. Serves as a means of self-understanding and emotional processing.
Talk prompts
Ice breaker

Tell me about the scene in a recent male-male relationship you got into that made you think 'this is precious!' the most.

Deep dive

When you are drawn to that relationship, which character do you overlay yourself onto the most? Why is that?

Bridge

If that relationship happened between real-life friends, how do you think you would feel?

Further questions
  • Is the psychology of women drawn to male-male relationships a resistance to heterosexual norms?
  • Why is the element of 'pain' or 'separation' in BL comforting?
  • What should the relationship with real LGBTQ+ communities be?
  • Can one feel emotionally invested in AI-generated BL works?
  • What is the difference between men and women loving BL?